why i and yan shen can, erm, walk.
he need someone to listen,
while i need someone that talks.

as usual, parents were busy, so they'll buy back supper later, and for now, to 'eat myself'
so i grab some food from the fridge, some sweet buns, and a bar of chocalate.
awww, now i feel like i wanna puke, i could still taste the sickly sweet taint of chocalate in my mouth...ougghhhh

anyway, and so, ah chong (wat i call him) replied.

What amazing questions, good, I hope I remember to answer all of them. OK,
let's see... might not be in the order u have set them as I am calling up
memory

1. God did create a perfect world, think that's was your last qn., yes he did
in the very beginning in teh garden of Eden with the first man and woman, Adam
and Eve but sorry they mess it up for all of us mankind when they for a split
second, maybe longer, decided to listen to Satan n at that instant, they
disobeyed Father God n ate the forbidden fruit n thus started the ball rolling,
how sin came to us today. Someon esaid that the "i" in "sin" stands for "I
first" always, meaning selfishness; think about it, aren't we all selfish at
one time or another.

2. What does Satan gain? He gains nothing coz he is a loser, his eternal end
which is coming is in the eternal lake of fire which is hell n know what he
wants to get as many unwary people as he can to join him i.e he wants your soul
n all those unsuspecting individuals who think that they can rely on their
brain or strength alone to fight. Hell is not a place I would want anyone to go
but Heaven, that's a different story, that place is so wonderful that no eyes
have seen or mind has conceived the magnitude or awesomeness of it, a place
where one can gaze at the beauty of our true God who loves us unconditionally.
Only reserved for those who trust and believe in Jesus Christ as their Lord and
Savior.

3. Brings me to the next qn. i.e can someone sins all their life n still be a
Christian. Well a complex qn n well asked. Answer is "yes" n "no" depending on
the condition of the person concerned i.e. specifically his heart n mind n
soul. No Christian who has confessed Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior can
continually sin n not confess the sin and ask forgiveness from Jesus. If the
person keeps on sinning till at last he dies without any thoughts on confessing
and asking forgiveness, I would wonder if he is a true Christian or a fake one.
There are people around who claimed that they are Christians but God knows our
heart and He will judge all when He comes back again n He may say to that
person "I do not know you."

4.So what is sin to answer your qn. with a qn. as I want to tie in the your
response about the ruler of a nation who has to think what's best for all n not
just for some people. Well according to God's perfect law, a sin is a sin no
matter how big or small it is. Just as a lie is a lie. So to answer your other
qn. i.e about curiosity, yes, all of us have this sense to explore or seek
knowledge or answer n yes, sometimes in the hunt for answers we may sin. For
e.g if a boy is curious about sex n finds out about it from his peers n then
carrying it out by sleeping with his girlfriend, now that would be a sin
because they do know what love is and are not married. On the other hand, if
the boy were to go to the library and look up some books to get the info. or
even talk to his Biology teacher about it and does it purely to help him to
understand himself and humans better, that would be a different story.
Well as for the ruler, if you read history you will know there have always been
good or bad kings, honest and good or good and not so honest rulers, and other
variations just as there are different personalities and manner of humans. When
one really analyze and think deeply abt. the issues then one can see how
selfish we all are for e.g. if a ruler sided one group of people because these
people of of the same race or color even if they were the minority and this has
happened then this is selfishness or sin. Or if the rich and powerful who are
usually the minority in society exploited the middle and or poorer classes. For
e.g. in history, colonialism nowadays has lost its grandeur n popularity coz in
those days hundreds of years ago, the minority rich n powerful groups such as
some Western powers (mind you not everyone in these country) used their wealth
to exploit the natives in other countries. Slavery at one one time popular lost
out coz it is almost always a system that the rich exploited the poor.

So under God's law, even a little bit of wrong is still a wrong therefore on
one can meet the standard of God's law except Jesus Christ. That's why Jesus
Christ is called our mediator coz his perfect scarifice on the cross has paid
the total price whereby meeting this exacting standard. Why did he do it.
Because He loves you n me and all mankind and does not want anyone to perish
i.e. to fall into sin n the trap of satan n go to hell. Remember salvation is
meant for those who believes in Him n it is so simple, all you have to do is to
pray i.e. talk to Jesus Christ with your mouth n in your heart and confess Him
as Savior and Lord. You must confess that u are a sinner i.e to humble
yourself. Remember He loves u so that should be easier.

Well, let me know if u have any more qns, I will be happy to answer more n
remember Jesus can open heart n answer all your questions, do u believe that?

thats what he said, and oughh...its too sweet!

i saw the passion of christ. and ask a uncle of mine, who is a christian what it all means.
and this, he said


Well, in short, the message of the movie is that Jesus Christ loves you and
paid the price to cure you of this terrible disease i.e. sin by His sacrifice
dying on the cross. Don't stop here, u have more questions, let me give the u
longer version.

Jesus Christ is God-man who came down to earth from his heavenly palace because
he has a mission. His mission from Father God was to save man from Satan, the
devil and from themselves. Satan lied to the first man and woman and caused
them to disobey God. Disobedience to God was the first sin of humankind and
selfishness that of Satan the devil who was once an angel attending to God in
Heaven. Because sin has come to the world through Adam and Eve, the first man
and woman, every person who comes after them will inherit the gene of
sinfulness.

Jesus Christ came to save us. Because our God is loving and merciful, yet just
and upright, He demands punishment for sin i.e. disobedience and selfishness,
yet He finds a way to rescue us. Father God loves us so much. He is patient to
wait so that we have time to recover and rediscover ourselves for who we are
and what we are really worth. If we consider carefully, we will find that at
some point in our life we have disobeyed someone or have been selfish to
somebody.

In the movie, you will find that the religious leaders, the politicians, the
Kings and governors and even the common people all have been disobedient or
selfish. For instance, the Roman governor, Pontius Pilate was selfish because
he cared too much for his own position that he would rather listen to the
Jewish religious leaders than to do the right thing that is to free am innocent
man. Also, some of the people choose to be blind to injustice and hurl curses,
even picked stones to throw at Jesus because they choose to side with "powerful
and popular" in the town and be selfish. Even Jesus' own friends denied him
such as Simon Peter when he claimed not to know Jesus at the cross, and Judas
Icariot, betrayed Jesus by giving him away to the soldiers. Yet Jesus Christ,
who was innocent, willingly even in pain, asked that Father God forgave these
people for what they were doing to Him! That is true love. By His sacrifice on
the cross, Jesus rescues us because the perfect demand of God has been met, the
price paid, God's perfect law fulfilled. Jesus was totally pure and his death
i.e. by His blood, He paid the total cost to recover us and made us whole again
like the first man and woman before Satan appeared and sin came to this world.

If you don't understand the deeper meaning of Jesus' sacrifice, don't despair,
there is help. Ask me or better still pray to Jesus for help. In the movie,
when Jesus Christ reappeared i.e. resurrected from the grave, he appeared to
many thousands of people before ascending to heaven. This means that all those
who believe in Him have hope and meaning now and forever more. We have a hope
because we know that when we die, now remember this is only for those who
believe and confess Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their life, we go to be
with Him in Heaven. There is meaning because in this very challenging world, we
have comfort and joy because we know that our Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus
Christ, and the Holy Spirit, the three persons in the one true God, loves us
most dearly and watches over us every moment of our life. So we call Jesus
Christ as our best friend because He knows us so deeply and loves us like no
other!

So the blood and gory in the movie just shows how violent this world can be and
sometimes, is as in the case of the times of Jesus, more than 2000 years ago, a
common method of killing criminals by the Romans was to nail them to the cross.
Now Jesus was not a criminal but he was treated real bad as he was one. By the
way some historical tidbit, know when our present calendar and dates started
from? Originated from the birth of Jesus Christ, B.C. means before Christ and
A.D. rough meaning after the birth of Christ or more accurately the Year of Our
Lord(meaning Lord Jesus Christ!)B.C. and A.D. are in Latin which is the
original language of the Romans, present day Italians in general.


offended in some ways, so replied back and 'ask' more.

more on our *ahem* beautiful water lilly

so, she been teaching in chinese shcools for about 10 years, and never once teached a class with a majority of other races, or erm, just malays. i think she's rather piss about it.

she said she refuse to learn even a word of chinese, because she, think it kasar.

god, she is so narrow, well no doubt that the chinese is language is rather pungent (mother la, father la, even ancestors), but her thinking, she is so trap in her own tiny world, and everything that isnt, watever-it-is-la cant be acepted.

and if i am not mistaken, wasnt that sure, coz wasnt paying that much attention. she said that she has to toleransi. for tolerating us. why not just say you hate us all le. freaking mona lisa.

sports day coming up, sien le.

probably would be getting darker, or redder le...

dad: during the exam, did you ever regret that you dint study enough?
me: no, but i do pity those who study harder, and and still failing it.

~ lan c ~

omg, i wanna faint.

you look so beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, ooww
haha, dunno what song is that, heard it over the radio, and keep humming that song.

i said my goodbyes, and left the house. i walk up, up the slope till i reach the turnabout.
should i eat now? or later? i thougth. thinking back on the ball game earlier, and the bowl of noodles for breakfast, noodles never last long enough. i was already starting to feel weak, and a bit shaky. i will be sweating in no time.

so i went to eat. as usual when i was in the area, i went to the hawkers. dirty? with the cash i had, there wasnt much of a choice anyway. plain, simple and dull rice as usual , but should be enough to last the rest of the evening. the place was quite crowded, well, it was lunch time. most there were in groups or couple, seldom were there people who are alone. i felt uneasy, found a place by the side and sat down facing the tv and with a small group of lunchbreak-ers in their twenties behind. no the tv dint interest him, neither did the people who where around, i just wanted to be away from the crowd.
i wolfed at my lunch, ocasionally looking around, or at the tv, but went back to my meal soon enough. they were noisy, the people behind, well, at least, one of the were, probably the office busybody. and was voicing her displeasure about someone.

which reminds some talk i had with someone...most chinese (english educated one are rather diferent though), more or less arent really direct, and like to hit horse back-side. and its really a put off when you actually know them, and seeing them 'hitting'. but it does have it use sometimes...

so how should we put it, smart? or just jerks.

anyway, to erm, anybody out there la who can relate.

how much could you write?
how much would you want people to see?
what is it that you want people to see?

and what is wrong with the rest of it.
what would people think?
what would people say?
what would you do?
something? nothing?

where is the bad? the ugly?
where is the love? and the sins?
or the small little things that make life beautiful.

where are your thoughts?
is everything there nothing more than what everyone have already seen? or known?
or merely just what other people want to see or hear.

then again, who would want people to know?
attention seekers? the insecure? or those who want to lead people away? the lost?
what good would it do to you? or to me?
why should it be said when it is better off not said.
it s nothing but a piece of paper.


hmmm, after finish writting. i myself also kinda lost liao whats the point of this whole thing. just post it la. sienz
what would you all think is this about?

ARGHHHH!!!
sienzzzzzzz arrr....
what to do le?

i miss you like crazy, and gonna go crazy soon lo.

i was just bored...



Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla




You are a moon shadow. With the moon as your source
you are a being of great mystery. Constantly
drifting, you descend into darkness to conceal
your brokenness. You have come to believe that
you are the only one you can rely upon for
constancy and safety that you need. But those
who know how to see you find enchanting beauty
in your wistfulness and fragility. It is to
them that you should flee, for their arms are
an open haven where your true light can finally
thrive..(please rate my quiz cuz it took me for
freaking ever to create)


What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are the envision of nothingness. You are a grey
angel. Your wings are invisible, and as plain
as your soul, which has been stripped bare of
all emotions and feelings. But because of this,
you are ruthless, strong, and can't be out
willed. You are always silent. Barely any words
escape your lips. You are in a complete world
of your own, no-one gets in. And that's the way
that you like it.

You have been aorund since the beginning of the
world, so you have seen all. You know all. And
there is no being wiser that you. You are a god
in your own eight. But choose not to be. You
have even experienced death many times before.
You have suffered, and felt joy. But you habe
disregarded such emotions. So know you are
blank. Watching over the world. Waiting for it
to fade away.

Waiting for your chance to fade away...


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla



You are the envision of nothingness. You are a grey
angel. Your wings are invisible, and as plain
as your soul, which has been stripped bare of
all emotions and feelings. But because of this,
you are ruthless, strong, and can't be out
willed. You are always silent. Barely any words
escape your lips. You are in a complete world
of your own, no-one gets in. And that's the way
that you like it.

You have been aorund since the beginning of the
world, so you have seen all. You know all. And
there is no being wiser that you. You are a god
in your own eight. But choose not to be. You
have even experienced death many times before.
You have suffered, and felt joy. But you habe
disregarded such emotions. So know you are
blank. Watching over the world. Waiting for it
to fade away.

Waiting for your chance to fade away...


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla


Pirates of the Caribbean!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

sigh....yawn...=.="

thrusday, yan sheng stood up to pn.lilly
obviously, lily doesnt like yong sheng, dunno, maybe since she thought he said that he think himself was perfect, which was a total missunderstanding. or maybe she just have some problem with popularity. dunno la.
i dont think she hated yan shen before. maybe course she knows how to deal with his type, and probably could be bothered wtih him.

she was talking bad about him that day, putting yong sheng down. saying him droping our class image, and some other nonesense.
then yan shen answer back to lily, defending yong sheng. the class did try to shhh him down for his own good, but he continued. both side, erm...argue would be too strong, but almost. i dun really think any side won. but lily must be mad like hell. damn, i salute you yan seng. lily is a bitch!

most of us supported yan seng for wat he did. and it kinda seems like the 1st stage of resistence in history lessons.

heard that sin yew lost in the chess competition, i am really sorry for him.
he is taking it really seriously.
last year, last chance, and i ve missed it, and regrets...
stupid. why did i? why dint i?
i am too weak. and beeing pijak by ppl...

and that s the feeling i get (except the pijak thing) , every begining of a long holiday. but this time not that bad la. i felt happy today.

but again, i am sorry for sin yew, he ll be having his exam around end of this month, although it wont matter much with the earlier thing, hope he can do well. and get over it.

its 5 in the morning now and i cant go back to sleep.
its raining!!! haha, a pretty good reason for people to ponteng school gua today.
but i got a million more reasons to go to shcool! i do want to go, sortof...
'cause this my last year here. and plus it's the last day before the holidays, before i ever see everyone again.
i ll miss you all lo.

test over liao!!!

anyway, pp (atasan) interviewed some of the pp (members) for the coming pp(society) election. oh ya, pp is persatuan pelajar.
din said much, just observe...
one did their homework, wow, i wonder how long did he took to prepare the script, but when other question weere ask, he din look too good.
aik meng and three more ppl, also in bc society, they dint wanted to be candidates for this pp. they were quan, and we not suang them, so had them four in the room just to talk bad about them...kinda pointless...just to pijak them..*sweat*
but during that time, although jx did most of the talking, i kinda felt that aik meng was bigger.
there was also this girl, who wanted to be bendahari, my god, she is hopeless! girl arr, you are supose to lame answer question in a interview, not just sit there...
there was also one more guy who wanted to be a candidate, who wasnt from pp, and i think...he is here just for fun, and for friend, but i hope he doesnt regret it when he is chosen...
imo, eugene would be our best choice...

in the end, there wasnt enough who showed up...

felt lonely, so added the comenting thingy.
hope you all out there will say something lo.
hello?? anyone???
*cries*

exams lo exams.
so far so good la, *consoles myself* nvm la, better not think about it, or ill be even more worried.
today had ad maths paper, and my feeling right after the thing finish was, whoa, it s finally over, exhausted and relief, fail ma fail lo, it s over!!!
tomorow got maths and physics, dunno how le, maths teacher always absent, physic one le, never actually paid much atention to her. and din take tuition for both of the subject.

everything would be fine, as usual...its just a test.
JUST A TEST!!! arghhhhh

and throughout most of the day, i keep muttering stupid, and its not becaus of the exam.
dunno wheter wanna change this blog name to so stupid le, the lame word kinda out liao, in my head at least.

more and more ppl knows about it, damn those guys who cant keep their mouth shut.
but it doesnt matter lo, i dont care if the whole world knows it, what diference would it make anyway.
its just hopeless.

exams coming up liao, sien le, so hard to get myself to study, but still did some lo. can survive gua.

wah, lord of the rings swept everything. cool
but why wasnt matrix nominated for anything le. pirates also din get. sob sob.
the starting of the awards with billy in the opening show was really great!