sien...yuen is busy this few days on the drama thing...came back around 3 am yesterday...yawn...

WEDNESDAY

Woke up early...too early, tried to sleep again, couldn't, keep on waking up every few minutes...mom come in later...

I was seldom that early in shcool, unlike the usual crowded shcool, it was dark and eerie. My class was empty, felt like the king of the world...my hands were cold...

vin was there already...practiced my lines a couple of time, damn...sounded bad, but what can i do? glad to hear faint from vin...kinda cool my nerves...

later...

Diamond was up stage first...din't have the chance to watch it...too damn nervous, wasnt in the mood for enjoying it...


next...us.

see chin yun and ng su yee started of with the greetings, and folow with the first part of our show...that singapore to johor song...music was a litlle slow, thank god they said something, not just standing there...tee chee wah with his broom as a guitar...sohai, doesnt matter, we are all sohai

bad...half way through, swee pei pei went up...as the girl in singapore, and i, with that fucking box, as a present, gave it to her...'dont be stupid', the i went down along with the present...fuck, eyemo, then tissue, then sitting at the edgo of the stage with the fucking phone...then dint fucking know what the hell, am i suppose to do...FUCK!

suyee advice...folowed with suan le ba...xing tai luan. said my translated script, and fuckfuckfuck...singing...the music was slow...again, what to do? walked left and right, looked up...fuck! then it came...too soft, holding that damn mic, sang a word or two...where am i, which part is it! damn, swayed...cant remember the words,DAMN!...'i forgot my lyrics' fuck, 'how come le', 'love you too much' fuck...a few more stupid words, forget the rest of it...

introduction...and down...

its over...over...with a sigh of relief...how am i to meet everyone...sia sui


parti gunung ais, rao kou ling...all of them were great...lee ee yen was very sounded very natural...ting teck pei, got a little problem from the crowd, clapping him down...he was sweating like shit...i pittied him...she was smilling...laughing...out of sympathy or for fun....i dont know...after finishing his line, ttpei kinda looked like he was gonna burst into tears...sigh...



vote me! vote me! time to shout, smile and die...

we, foorprint and diamond actually kinda plotted against ice...vote whoever in your group and your alise...
i voted for chee wah, pei pei,and shan rong, i was hoping for him to make it...chin yun and su yee, sorry hokien...su rong and pei jen...you probably would be a better one...sorry ttpei, i dun really think you can make it...
form 6..dint really know what to do....shout?siao le...

form 5, a bit here and there...but most of the time just kept quiet...feel like cant face them...feel like being looked down upon...

form 4, great felt at ease just shouting my lungs out...flatered hearing friend saying that they'll vote for me, but a little uneasy,smile and thanks...i wonder how my smile looks like...fake and distorted? at times...cant even smile out, feeling my muscles jumping,sohai...huh?actually heard puai yee repeat my number after i said it...


form 3, also kinda well...got kinda tired doing it...just sat down there with hokkien...

ice..dint join the shouthing match...

later heard xi wen said our whole class voted me...are you sure? maybe sr, rk, yy and vanesa will...be for ming hua and ming yuen? i hardly believe it...

'dont worry...you'll make it' felt uncomfartable...i don't really care wheter i make it or not, ok lo if i get...but i dont really think i would be happy with the burden if i get the place...ttpei, he is more qualified than i am for the job...rather just lose...face, what is there left after the show?


kinda hard to imagine myself there...remembered how i was last year...watching ah loh they all...

i never thought myself wanting to be pp then...upstage, crazy...

the reason i entered pp and els last year...what was i doing thinking about her...she's gone, whats the point...get up and do something meaningful...occupie myself...forget about her...i dunno...or impress her by being serious...

now i wonder why was i in? els with that fucking ambika...pp, i dont quite get quite mix...there is no point to it...i would rather be a free guy lazing around...


how far have we all gone? seeing everybody...njj, busy like shit...wai kit, krs pengerusi...wendy, pbsm pengerusi...au yong, libarian pengerusi...yen chao, computer pengusi...zhen fong, sbpt pengusi...violet and xi wen, polis? gymnastic?st john ambulans? god knows what...

Got my report card today...

dad wasn't too saatisfied with my results...

'why aren't you improving....' dunno...

'i used to get straight A's when i was young...' I am not you...

'you gotta think about your future...' so what...we drift and we land...

'what do you want to be when you grow up?do you want to be a bus driver...' astonot sounds nice...beckham too...but what's wrong with that...

'imagine yourself poor...' yeah, but i'm not...



awc said this in his blog...
'I promise to myself to studied hard in science and technology,for an asset for my future career option.I decided to work I studies of grey matter,brain.'



Bet dad would be yearning to hear that from me....

wo se mo dou bu pa

wo bu shi sa gua~~

felt sorry to think of him that way...
probably just need to share something....

sr...dunno about him lately...

could be feel that he isnt worthy of being there...

could be spying...

talked about results...hehe, dint knew that i win xi wen....but his' much higher...

then ask about hows our party...our 's well...duh

they havent prepared anything for tomorow yet...a defensive laugh after it...out of shame?

footprints came over to dicuss over next 'show'...

chee wah...dunno come here to play or what..always warcraft warcraft....hai...so stuburn...a little fun wont hurt mah...really wish to see him acting as a girl...

chin yun and su yee...dunno, girls....cold war

peipei...our leader...

our play...everybody kinda out of idea....silence is deafening...

titanic sprang up...u jump i dun jump kinda things...fun

then later, the singapore to johor thing came up, everybody agreed to it...until the the role playing part...would be really nice as a girl....and of coz, he said no....

food and drinks were serve, only few were taken...

the old blood run thick in me...

The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

like a dream come true...alone..well not so...whatever...i damned it...

there...with a pursed and pale lips...felt naked and and hopeless there alone...felt sad, of what i dont know...i sat looking away...i walked looking way...like i always did...i turn...slightly turn there...talking...i got on and left...

1 hui fen, 2 ttpei, 3 rk, 4 ming hua, 6wen xuan, 14 ban xi wen, 15 wang qian, 17 yee yee, 31 shan rong, 32 koh seng yun, 33 cheah kim wai, 34 ruey ling, 35 boon boon, 36 ah kent....

16 i am...and 5 my bro...hahaha...cool, for what i've put in

there was a survey on why would teens comit suicide...most of the ppl chosed because of studies....pretty obvious...suprisingly, ming yuen and tan pei yee chosed relationship problem...

kae ti...real joker la...could be some host for some show already...

chin yun was pretty pissed about the idea about she riding chee wah bike..

sigh...what to say...need chua again...

would be a good idea doing the shaolin soccer song...

so what if the whole world knows...


feeling tired...

Gosip folks...its out...i feel like dying...

have to its quite fun being centered ...having ppl teasing me with the matrix stuff and so...first few is ok...but later through the day...no longer know what to do...i smile is and a small thanks all i can give i guess...

the whole pp thing went great, for us at least...

shanrong they all...
i think they were good, but just din't have the time to prepare for it...their banner wasnt even ready...

diamond...is a girls best frens?...or maybe not...nice banner...'nice' sppeech...'great' response...

ours...obviously, the crowd loves it, teachers dont...violent they said....duh

next to me is a malay girl and a little a sigh boy....front of me a few idiotic monkeys with that cant stoop grinning...and me, stuck in the middle of this mess...

our banner is up!...god, it looks ugly....but somehow, i guess all of us were satisfied with our work.

worried about tomorow....damn!

we tend to get furture apart as we grow...

while waiting for the lift up, an old chinese granny said rto be careful around here and dont stand-where i am standing bcause there had been cases where ppl throw stone or whatever things down from somewhere round the 12th floor...

probably lonely or so...talk to a malay lady around there...
'What race race?'

'Some Indian boys'

they chat on...

painted our banner in peipei house...its almost ready, made quite a mess though...

got a look at my script, omg, i have to ban yuk ji...tiu, dun want le...

she doesnt seems that mean at all...once you get to know her...her sister...walau, form 1 only...i thought elder than her....

sohai lift....kek a bit after every level...heard that it just had some problem that morning...what if someone got stuck in it...

and meaning of footprint...in english...

It is matter to represent us do past over that the idea of the footprint party release, making out goodly better, take into the improvement not goodly, change best even the perfection has no to lack

nice words....lol

Tired...slept past moral...a little sleep in bio and some other periods...

mostly out of class this few days...i am actually worried, damn, the hell should i care...but i do...damn it

Footprint...planning on presenting a drama just to get into it...get some attention...hope it works...

still stealing galances and so...and sleep....

dunno what the helll should i write...sitting here...thinking of nothing...wasting time...sigh...

going up on next wed, feeling kinda nuervous already...what should i say or do? what if its stupid? would it be boring? be boo off stage...hell!

els, rhythm, thiking on coming up with a new image for it...more entertainment and so...dunno what else le...

drama...something on lotr...stupid..

its raining man,
love the rain, how long since it last rain....wash away the blues, the tears, and the greyness...feeling happy, have to go!

having mix feeling having to go back to shcool, holidays is kinda boring, relaxing though...shcool, busy with activities lately, wanna run from it...

back to the same ol down feeling again....sleep

footprints' the name, what should I say about it? unique? or plainly stupid....anyway, after thinking about it, it isnt that bad...diamond...what the heck? money as strenght?...another party comes with the name green light...hah, grren? plants? still ok gua...

had a small meeting after school talking about how should we present ourself...got nothing much outa it...a few ideas here and there...su yee was pulling grass the whole time...later the all gals oso pull grass...down to the roots...

Hoiliday holiday

played most of my holiday away...nothing better to do anyway...

Badminton...thinking about cyber the whole time...
matarix great!!!! superb effects, an unimaginable storyline...damn long que...stupid finding nemo...had to line out of the cinema, into the lorong belakang...siao, used to thought ppl would be crazy to line up like that...dint thought we would ended up like that...

brit, some talk over cruelity of fur trade...i dint agree to it...its all about business, who cares, money is everything...everybody was looking at me like im some psycho...wtf, now i m thinking the chinese way...money money money money

pathetic...feel like any fucking gal will do...need someone to feel the void...pathetic...

actually feel better over not seeing her...would love to see her...just a glance or so....but would never want to meet her...it is better off that she is gone...

i'm a mess...

Saturday

The whole thing went well i guess..maybe not that good...but not much err i gues...

I lot of interesting dramas...wright after us was a doremon something...haha...just glad japan dint plan something like that

hosai they all left just left after our act...

dances...the one from selayang something very....good gua...in artistic way at least...that pondan very good le...funny y dint get...

the third place went to those small cute 'japnese' gals....the dance was very nice...very qi....hoping they got the first...second goes to the three gals with fan doing energy....cool...right after their show was also another group of gals dancing energy fang shou...sohai...no energy at all....pity them la...big contrast to the one right b4 them...there wasnt a first place...dunno,..thats what they said...


anyway...amp got the first for drama...news or something about a granma one...something about the pregnam gal came in second...remembered alot of screaming and
crying in it...and third 'girlfriend'....sohai show...so lo so...yuk ji...dint understand what the hell are they doing...dunno y get le...

we dint got anything....of course, kinda expected it anyway...the others wernt pretty happy about it...whole way backl grumbeling about hosai hosaai....only yuen, me and jacket dint have much to say...

songs...there were two...one is aband type one...cool, with only guitars...n electronic ones...n two singers....the girl really could sing...covering the boys voice....

and the other one is from amp boys....talented...solo with a guitar....nice n soothing....later also sing jays an jing....wow

there was also a few guest stars...one from my fm, and oon more is chen jia jkai....



In grey she was...searching she seems...but its all my own......